I was hoping that I could come up with some excellent pieces and have a display at the Renaissance Center here in Tennessee. But I am not sure this will make the cut.
I was in hopes that I could live my life in such a way that would be pleasing to God. But I am pretty sure I have not and as hard as I have tried, pretty sure I will not be able to accomplish that.
I wanted to be serious about this painting, well, as serious as I could be and plan it every step of the way, hoping for a better performance and outcome in the end. I can see a lot of areas that just didn’t come out the way I intended.
I have wanted to please God, to do something to glorify Him. Whether it be my actions, thoughts or my treatment of others. And I think pretty deeply about things before I say them, trying to be in control of my mind instead of letting my emotions guide me. Still there are so many areas in my life and my character that are just not quite there.
I chose particular colors in this piece wanting to get it as realistic as I possibly could and end up with a bright and beautiful, happy, thought provoking piece. Something that would pull the viewer in and help to create those wonderful thoughts. Don’t think I accomplished that either.
I have desired to be someone who might through the observance from another person might make them wonder why I am the way I am. But, really, I don’t seem to be different than anyone else. Just struggling along like everyone else, sad one day, worried another, happy for a moment, content for an instant. No matter how hard I try, negativity still creeps in and takes hold of me sometimes.
This might seem like it would get a person down. But it just makes me wonder, how can I do things differently so that the outcome would have a chance at being better. I know there are many things that only God has the answers to and that is just something that has to be accepted. And in accepting that, if you are in tune with Him, you know He is guiding your steps and you will arrive when and where He knows is best for you.
As for me, I’ll just keep on trying. Trying to paint better, trying to live a life as pleasing to God as I can, knowing that He loves me, no matter how disappointed I am in myself and He is in control of it all.
Keep trying! Maybe we should look at it not so much as a struggle, but as an adventure.